Gobsmacker strikes again!

The gobsmacker called me recently.

This is the patron (or subspecies of patron) who cannot wait until they are done chewing their gum, eating their dinner, or sucking down that juicy peach before they call the library.

"Hi you've reached [my library] may I help you?"
"...[smack, suck, chew]...yeah...[suck smack chew]...I wanna see if you have three books...[smack smack slurp]..."

Horrors!

And while this woman is masticating into my ear, while she tries to talk through the mouthful of whatever sticky, squishy substance she's filling her face with...I'm getting madder and madder. Sick of people who can't put off their food and bevvies for 5 minutes while they deal with their library business. Then, while I'm stuck sitting there, tied to the telephone and trying to divine a title out of ".....[smack slurm prfff]..power of..[crumbling noise]...ing" I see not one, not two, but at least six people walk by swigging on their little plastic teats full of soda!

Now, perhaps other libraries allow sodas everywhere. Perhaps they welcome them with open arms. Mayhap they enjoy cleaning spilled orange drink out of computer keyboards. Perchance they let people use rare books as coasters. Possibly the inevitable damage to materials, computers, carpets and sensitive electronic equipment is viewed as a much-needed excuse to spend their more-than-copious budgets!

However, my library has a no food or drinks except in approved areas rule. Call me a drink-nazi all you want. It's still on the list!

So, would everybody please stop slurping down their super-triple cheeseburgers and sucking on their sugar-teat long enough to do their business at the library!

No wonder all y'all FAT!